The Cruelest Curse
by PonderRose
Summary: One eternal love, one horrific curse. Christian made a mistake. As punishment, he was cursed to be immortal and ageless, while the love of his life was to reincarnate and never grow old. She never had the chance, since in each life time, she's died right in front of Christian's eyes. It's been two thousand years- why would this Anastasia Steele's fate be different than the rest?
1. Prologue

No One's P.O.V.-

_A burning building which was crumbling to the ground. "Hurry, men!" Fire fighters were racing around frantically. Meanwhile the police and other first responders were trying to keep onlookers as far back as possible. "Stand back everyone!" The sergeant kept shouting. _

_A fire fighter who was hosing down one side of the apartment complex spotted someone emerge from the flames. His eyes grew in shock as he ran over to the young fellow. "Look! There's a man!" He told the others before addressing the person in question. While his clothes were very nearly burnt off, he had a small bundle in his arms. The fire fighter's heart skipped a beat when he realized it was a baby; a brown-haired baby sleeping peacefully. The strange man held her tight and close to him. While he was covered in burns, the child appeared completely unharmed. _

"_Sir, are you alright?! Looks like you've got some serious injuries." No reply. "We have ambulances here. Go over to one and they'll drive you to the hospital. Here, let me take the little one," the fire fighter's hand extended out. It was quickly slapped away by the man, who took a step back. "Don't touch her!" The fire fighter's eyes grew huge in shock as he snatched back his hand. The terrifying glare the burnt man sent him….. "Keep your hands off my woman!" _

"_Woman?"_


	2. Twenty Nine and a Half Years Later

Thirty Year Old Anastasia's P.O.V.-

You ever have that feeling of being watched? Mmmmmm, maybe "watched" isn't the best way to describe it. No, not really; now that I think about it. It's just such a weird situation. I don't feel like I'm always being watched per se. It's more like someone knows about me, but I don't know them. Almost like a guardian angel I can't see or a benevolent spirit whom I'll never know.

I say "benevolent" because, whoever they are, I know they mean me no ill-will. They would have hurt me already if that's what they wanted. But no- it's never been a bad thing. How to explain it? You might be asking how I know there's anyone there at all. How do I know that this isn't all inside my head and I'm not just stark mad? Well….. Maybe I should start at the beginning.

It all began- really began- when I moved to Amsterdam.

As usual, my ticket had been upgraded to first class without my knowledge; that always happened when I flew anywhere for some reason. "Maybe the airlines just really like you," Daddy would jest. I don't think that's how it works.

Anyway, from the airport, I took a taxi to my new apartment near the outer edges of Amsterdam; in a small community called Landsmeer. God, I loved Landsmeer; it's a twenty-minute journey from Amsterdam, but far enough out in the countryside to have all those rolling grasslands you see in Holland postcards. Perfect for a PhD candidate like me.

My landlady was super nice. We'd met a couple of times before and I'd stayed in my apartment a couple of times before on my vacations to Amsterdam. Well, it wasn't really an apartment. It was more of a converted barn in someone's backyard- literally. It was a tiny, two-story barn which was made into one of those small homes you see on tv. She used to use it as an Airbnb but let me move in full time when I emailed her about the situation. The upstairs was a single room with two beds; one queen and one single- no closet. Downstairs was also a single room with the world's smallest bathroom at the front. There was a couch, a glass table for two, and a sink with a little fridge. No dishwasher, microwave, or oven. And no television either. One perk however was a cute backyard, complete with sandbox, wooden coffee table, and lovely garden. It was right on the canal- an ideal location. The bus stop wasn't too far either.

Because my new place was really small, I couldn't bring much with me. Seriously, I didn't even have a clothes closet. I brought the usual student stuff: books, laptop and iPad, a few clothes, lots of teaware- too much really-, some food from the States, some stuffed animals, and a food scale. Daddy bought me a new, temperature-controlled kettle as a gift for starting PhD. Aside from all that, and the furniture already there, I didn't have room for much else. I did want to get a blender at some point though.

"Now if you need anything, just let me know," my landlady- I kinda already forgot her name- opened the front door and handed me the key. Since it was an ex-barn door, it was really heavy wood door painted black. I smiled at her. "Thanks," and inside I went. To my surprise- albeit mild surprise- there was a bouquet of red roses waiting for me in a vase on the table. Red roses, my favourite…. I set down my bags and went to inspect. In front of the vase was a note from the landlady. I read hers first. It said: 'Someone had these flowers delivered for you earlier. Very pretty!' Huh. That's interesting. And odd….

What's more odd is that every time I move into a new place- be it for my undergrad exchange or masters- there's always a vase of flowers waiting for me when I arrive. There's never been any indication of who sent them or why. They were just always there, nameless and without purpose except to make me happy. Whoever sent them, they knew that I liked roses best. And no, it wasn't Daddy; I already asked him the first time. I don't know who kept sending them….

See what I mean by kind yet unseen presence in my life?


	3. On My First Day

"_So, what's Amsterdam like?"_ "Oh, god; I love it here, Kate. You have no idea." _"Well, I'm just glad you're on my side of the pond again."_ "Yeah! Paris isn't that far of a train ride from here." _"You still coming at the end of the month?"_ "Plan to. We'll see where I'm at with work," I was on my way to campus. _"Alright, well try to manage it. We can Skype Jose; maybe have a shut-in movie night like the good, old days."_ "That sounds awesome! I'll keep you posted." _"Ok. Talk to you soon, Anny."_ "Bye, Kate." _"Oh! And let me know if there're any cute guys on campus!" _"Kate, you live in Paris. You're surrounded by hot men." _"I'm not talking about me, silly; I mean for you."_

"Me?" I blinked. _"Come on, Anny. You're thirty and you've never even kissed a guy." _"I'm just waiting for the right one!" _"Uh huh, yeah. That might have worked when we were teenagers, but you're a grown-ass woman. You need to get some sometime, girl!"_ "Ok, I'm done with you," with a roll of the eyes, I hung up the phone. Gees, that Kate. Honestly, I've never really wanted a relationship before; I'm not sure if I might be asexual or not. But I've never been into the whole "dating" thing. It's not because I don't want a boyfriend, or even a girlfriend for that matter. It's just…. I don't know; I just never sought one out before. I was perfectly happy being single.

That's when I noticed the time on my phone. Oh crap! I can't be late on my first day; I refuse! Like a maniac, I actually ran down the street. I was close by Central Station; the river was at my left side. The street wasn't particularly crowded today so I didn't have to worry about bumping into anyone. Only… I didn't bump into him; I saw him.

My feet came to a halt for a moment as I spotted some guy across the canal. He was… staring at me. More like gawking, I could feel his eyes locked on me so hard. He looked young, around my age; maybe even a year or two younger than me. Definitely in his very early thirties or late twenties. Slender and tall, wearing a grey suit of all things; he looked like a high-up businessman, maybe even a CEO. His hair was short, and his eyes were deep and piercing; he had pale skin. His appearance wasn't strange; it was the way he was ogling me from where he was standing.

The guy honestly looked like he'd just had a heart attack. His eyes were so wide and glossy, almost like he was going to burst out into tears. His arms were as stiff as boards at his sides, and his jaw hung wide open. Seriously, I wonder if he's ok; he just seemed so stunned, so taken aback by something. It didn't take a genius to figure out that he was staring at me… for some reason. Why would this important-looking man be fixated on me of all people? Did I look like his mother or sister or someone? I don't know when I started, but I began blushing at some point. This was the first time… a man had looked at me so intently before.

Reality hit me pretty quickly though; mostly by means of the time flashing on my phone. Holy shot, it's ten to eleven! I'm going to be late! Without glancing back at the strange man again, I took off down the street, promptly forgetting about the scenario. I honestly didn't think about him again for the rest of the day. I had more important matters to focus on.


	4. Weirdness At The Bookstore

"Yes! Yes!" I skipped all the way out of my supervisor's office. Well, that first meeting went good. Time to celebrate! I knew exactly what I wanted to do too. I went straight to this little pastry shop literally on the side of the cathedral that only sold freshly-made stroopwafels. Can this be considered free advertisement for them? Absolutely. They are the best, and this is coming from someone who has been to Amsterdam multiple times.

If you've never had a stroopwafel before, here's basically the idea. Picture two super flat, wide waffle cookies; soft, not crunchy. Then, a thin layer of runny caramel is painted over one of them and the two cookies are pressed together. Voilà- stroopwafel. I always got mine dipped in white chocolate, which they would do to one side. Now, this was a beautiful concoction and it was done right in front of your very eyes. The only downside is that for someone like me who can't eat super hot or cold foods, I couldn't eat this masterpiece right away.

As a consequence, I wandered out into Dam Square; it was more crowded down there than on campus for sure. Somehow I managed to manoeuvre through all the people while nibbling on my now drooping stroopwafel. Despite being the size of my hand, I polished it off rather quickly; it cooled off fast enough. On the other side of the Dam Square, in near of the bends, was this four-story bookstore. I accidently came across it when backpacking through Europe while on exchange in undergrad. Now it's one of my staples here in the city.

The first book I ever bought here was the Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff- in English of course. As you have probably already guessed, I'm into literature, history, philosophy; just deep thinking in general. I remember being on the third floor and flipping through a few books. I guess I wasn't really browsing because I wanted to buy something, but I didn't really have an idea of what I wanted or could spend. Hmmmmmm, lets see. Is twenty euros ok? Is that too much? I think I can splurge on twenty euros today; it is a special occasion, after all.

Satisfied with that, I kept scanning over books, trying to decide what I want to read over the next week. It doesn't take me long to read books anymore. At this point, I was at the Classic Literature section; one of my favourites. Twenty euros would be enough to get me say, Anna Karenina or War and Peace- I left both my copies of those back home with Daddy. But then again, I have also been wanting to read Eager Allan Poe for some time now. There's also The Brothers' Karamazov too. Man! It always takes me so long to figure out what to read. And it wasn't a fun process either; the amount of choices was overwhelming to me.

I guess I'm sort of predictable. In the end, I wound up with Anna Karenina in my hands. Ah, Anna Karenina; the first work of Tolstoy I've ever read. Can't beat a classic. It actually changed the way I viewed love permanently; only Plato's Symposium, Pride and Prejudice, and Anna Karenina have ever done that before. Still, I enjoyed reading it; it was different from the material I was reaching for my PhD, so it might be a good brain break. Heh, cause that's a good book to read when you need something easy- insert eyeroll here.

Now, you gotta understand, what happened next was just as confusing to me as it's going to sound to you. While I was skimming through the book in my hands, a bump from nearby made me jump. From the sound of it, it seemed like a surprised sort of bump. Oh, how to describe it better? Um, you know when someone drops something accidently or bumps into a wall or post by mistake? That's sort of how it felt; it didn't seem intentional, if that makes any sense.

That's probably why I thought someone had tripped or bumped their knee behind me; my head turned to make sure whoever it was wasn't hurt or anything. But…. it's the strangest thing. No one was there. Well, that's not true actually. I knew someone was there, but they were behind one of the shelves; I couldn't see them. I can't be sure, but I'm guessing that the person accidently hurt themselves in surprise for some reason, and then hid. Or maybe they weren't hiding from me at all; maybe they didn't even see me. Maybe they were intending to go to that shelf in the first place. Regardless, whoever it was was out of sight and didn't emerge for the rest of the time I was there. I went to the bathroom before I left- they charge you at the train station to go- and when I returned, they were gone. I don't know where they went.

I know I'm describing this is a lot of detail, but in reality, I didn't give it much thought. Instead, I checked the time on my phone and grabbed my book to head downstairs happily. The front door closed by the time I reached the ground floor; not that I noticed really. It was a busy store, after all. Things did start to get weird however, when I went up to the front check out. The man smiled at me and took my book to scan.

"Find everything you need?" He asked me in English. I nodded. "Yup. You guys have a brilliant store." His grin widened and he nodded. Oh, wait; I had to remind myself. Right, English isn't their first language; he may take "brilliant" as literal. Still, he looked at the computer screen and then at me. "Bag?" "Uh, no thank you," I don't carry a purse, but I do carry a backpack everywhere. That's a major sign of being a student. To my surprise, he printed off a receipt and slid the book over to me. I blinked from it to him confused.

"Um, I haven't paid…." I began. "It's been taken care of," his hand waved in the air, like this was some totally normal occurrence. I could only stare in confusion. "Uh, b-but… I don't…. I don't get it. What do you mean?" "Someone's already paid and put this on reserve for you." Ah ha! I got him now; I know he's lying. "But you didn't ask me my name or for ID. How do you know this is put on reserve for "me"?" I'm not proud of it, but I did smirk a tiny bit in victory. Premature victory.

"Oh, he just said the woman with the Anna Karenina book; she'll be coming down soon." He? "Wait, what? Who?" "Uh….." The clerk glanced around and shook his head. "Sorry, miss. He's not here anymore," he then shrugged. "Well, did he give his name? What did he look like?" "He said it's from anonymous." Of course he did, I rolled my eyes. Why is it always "anonymous"? Do they really not want me to find them? Or… him; I guess it's a "him". This made my chest feel all weird suddenly for some reason.

"Erm, w-well thank you," seeing I wouldn't get any more information here, I put my book in my backpack and headed for the door. Along the way however, I spotted a figure standing outside at the window. They were far enough that I couldn't make out their face, but I saw them and it sure looked like they were watching me. Wait… it might be him! Encouraged, I rushed to the front door to try and get a glimpse of whoever it was.

Unfortunately, as fate would have it, I swung the door open to find no one there anymore. I could have tried to run after them but that would have been fruitless in this sea of people, especially considering that I didn't know what they looked like. My feet merely took a few steps outside where I stared at where they used to be standing. That man…. why would he have paid for my book like that? Did he know me? And, more importantly, did I know him? Perhaps he's just a stranger trying to be kind. It certainly was kind of him, buying my book for me. Still… My mouth formed into a thin, flat line. Should this reason for concern? No, I don't think so. I'll likely never meet the guy; he was just some polite fellow helping out a stranger. That's all.

At the time, I didn't make the connection between this mystery man and the business-type man I saw earlier across the canal.


	5. A Very Important Promise

"_More later on Brexit and the new official deadline date. In local news, Christian Grey- CEO of Grey Enterprises- has announced his abrupt departure from Amsterdam next week….."_ Click. I turned off the news which I listened to on YouTube, what being without a tv or radio here. I sat back on my couch and sighed heavily to myself; I cuddled my legs folded up into my chest. I didn't want to hear any more news about Brexit- I was so sick of all that nonsense. No, my mind kept going back to what happened back in the bookstore.

It really shouldn't have weirded me out as much as it did. I mean, I wasn't lying when I said earlier that stuff like that happened to me all the time. It's true- good luck just seems to follow me wherever I go. I have no clue why, but it always feels like I have a guardian angel watching out for me. I used to think of that in the metaphorical sense only- I didn't actually think there was anyone or anything hanging around me. Today was the first time I saw anyone…

My hand drew up to my mouth as my eyes softened. No, that's not true. There have been strangers in my past who have been so kind and generous with me. But I never thought that was anything unusual- just my being in the right place at the right time. What happened today at the bookstore however…. I don't know; it just got me thinking. I've met so many good people before, but never anyone like that; nothing like that has ever happened to me. All that random stuff that happened to me, like the flowers, were always done by that mysterious "anonymous" person. Wait…. _"He said it's from anonymous."_ That couldn't be the same "anonymous", could it? But no, that's impossible… isn't it?

Letting out another sigh, I fell down onto my side on the couch; my head pressed into the pink pillow. I've met so many good people- too many to count. I've also met some bad people; really bad. But there's this one encounter I remember; it's unlike any other I've ever had. It wasn't a bad encounter by any means! I'd just… never met anyone like him before- or since. I don't remember his face or what he looks like very well. But I remember him; I remember….

Twenty-Five and a Half Years Ago:

_I'd gotten lost in downtown Manchester; not a place you want to get lost as a very young child. While in reality it had only been ten minutes, but it felt like an eternity to little me. My face was already tearstained, and I was wandering aimlessly, looking for Daddy. I had just been holding his hand and he somehow got lost in the crowds. Now, don't think bystanders just ignored this tiny girl in a cute pink dress wearing pigtails- they did not. But while some wanted to come up to me- some kind-looking and others not so much- they all backed off when they got too close… for some reason. _

_Eventually, I had walked around in a circle I think, making it back to the big, city square. I gave a little hic and blinked over to see this tall, handsome man smiling down at me. He was slender, wearing a grey suit, and looked about thirty or so at the time. I wasn't good with guessing adult ages as a child. I do recall him wearing the kindest, sincerest expression I'd ever seen. No one ever looked at me with such adoration besides Daddy. Not that this did anything to calm little, crying Anastasia. I didn't say anything as he bent down to my eye level. _

"_Are you lost?" I didn't say or do anything; simply watched the man with wet eyes. My finger was up at my mouth like that childlike fashion. Seeming to comprehend the situation, he straightened back up. I flinched as he quite suddenly took my small hand in his board palm. His smile widened organically as I looked up at him a bit puzzled and apprehensive. "Come. I'll take you back to your father." I didn't think anything of it at the time, but looking back, I never recall telling him that I was trying to find Daddy. _

_At some point I must have started to cry again because after a minute or so, the man came to an abrupt halt. He looked down at me concerned. "Are you alright? Still scared?" I nodded; I'm not sure why. After watching me for another moment, his smile returned; much gentler this time. His legs bent in a way so he was back at my eyelevel again. All I could was stare into his deep, soulful eyes. "Listen closely, ok? I know you're scared, but you never have to be. _

_That no matter where I am, I'll always return to you. I will always be there for you- I promise." _

What a strange thing to tell a five-year-old. A grown man, telling a young child that- it just seemed weird. But I never saw him again, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Could be I reminded him of his daughter or younger sister; who knows? He definitely not the guy I saw outside the bookstore earlier today; he would be close to sixty now, and the fellow appeared to be more around my age. I wonder what ever happened to that man back in Manchester…. Ah well, guess I'll never know.

My eyes grazed back to the Anna Karenina book on my glass table opposite my couch; it was a tiny room all things considered. Then, who was that man who purchased it for me? This "anonymous"? I may never know, and I'll have to be content with that. My eyes lowered onto the book's side.

What other choice did I have?


	6. A Woman Named Anastasia

I decided to take the afternoon off and visit the Rijksmuseum. Wouldn't you know it? An annual pass showed up in the mail for me; paid for and sent by you guessed it: anonymous. This has happened before when I lived in the UK and Seattle; these random tickets would just appear in the mail. Whoever "anonymous" is, he knows which museums I love. I utterly adore the Rijksmuseum; I think besides Versailles, it's my top favourite in the world. Naturally, I wanted to go as soon as possible once the pass magically arrived.

The Rijksmuseum is an art and sculpture museum for those who don't know. It's mostly Dutch art but like the Louvre, there are other branches of art on exhibit. Sure, I like the paintings well enough; don't get me wrong. But what I really love is the building itself. It used to be a castle here in the Netherlands; if I had a palace, it would look just like this one. Versailles has the best gardens I've ever seen in the world, but there's a bit too much gold for my tastes.

Anyway, I was currently walking through one of the many rooms filled top to bottom with painting of landscapes and important people. One in particular caught my eye- Venus and Adonis, ca. 1658. Such a sad love story; what a way to go, death by boar. I'm of course talking about Ovid's version; not Shakespeare's. Still, could you imagine finding your lover dead like that? I can't even begin to think how I would feel….

"Anastasia!" The sound of my name being shouted throughout the gallery made not just me but everyone else jump. I immediately spun around, only to be shocked to find what appeared to be a ninety-year-old man staring back. His expression went from elation to confusion now too, once our eyes met. "Anastasia?" His hand, which had been raised up in the air until now, slowly started to lower.

"Uh, d-do you… know me?" I certainly didn't know him. The old man stepped up to me, examining my face intently. "You look so familiar; it's uncanny." "Familiar?" To who? My eyebrow rose up, a bit curious now. And wait. How did he know my name? "You even sound like her…." "Like who? Who are you talking about?" "Oh! I'm so sorry, my dear. I saw you from across the room, and it was like I'd been taken back seventy years. You look just like this woman I knew back in Austria. I remember she was Austrian, but she had a Russian name: Anastasia." "That's my name!" I gasped in surprise.

The man looked equally startled. "That's so bizarre. Do you have any Lausers in your family?" "No; not that I'm aware of." My birth mother was British and Daddy- who's my adoptive father- is American. I have no clue about my real father, so he might very well be. But I doubt he was Austrian.

He watched me for another minute before grinning; more to himself than to me. "Sorry, I just had to check. Of course you're not her. Poor thing; she didn't live passed the age of thirty." "She didn't?" He shook his head. "Got crushed to death in a bomb raid. It was so tragic; it happened right in front of her boyfriend too. Don't know how he ever got over that," he eyes lowered mournfully. "That's so sad…." My own eyes rolled downwards as well.

Noticing my change in demeanour, the old man straightened up and flashed me another brilliant smile. "Ah, never mind; it was a long time ago. You just reminded me of her; that's all." "I'm sorry….." I'm not sure why I was saying sorry; it's not like I had any control over the situation. But the nice man merely shook his head again. "Sorry for startling you like that. Enjoy the museum, dear." "Yeah, you too," we gave each other a little wave as we parted ways. Huh, that was strange. Nothing like that has ever happened to me before. I gazed back up at the tragic painting. But then, I suppose life is full of small surprises.


	7. A New Mission

I knocked on my supervisor's office door. "Come in!" He called. Alrightly then. For some unknown reason, Dr. Grinds had emailed me this morning telling me to come into his office today. He was scrambling around with a bunch of papers in his arms when I opened the door.

"Oh, Ana! Good, you're here." "Hello, sir," I glanced around at the mess. Boy, he had a ton of books in here- lucky. I suddenly blinked at the sensation of a folder being shoved into my arms. "Here. I need you to take these to Mr. Grey's office." "Mr. Grey?" My eyebrow rose up. I didn't know anyone named Grey. "Christian Grey- the CEO of Grey Enterprises. We got word from his secretary that he's leaving for Seattle next week, and he needs these documents before he goes." "Uhhhhhhhhhh?" I stood there with my mouth hanging open. Why would a CEO need a file from the university, and my department to be exact?

Dr. Grinds must have read my mind judging by the way he paused to look back at me. "Mr. Grey's one of our big donors. He gifted us a very generous donation last… huh, last year actually. Around the time you applied." So soon! "Was he a student here?" I asked, mildly interested. Dr. Grind's head shook. "No. He just… gave the funding. It was very kind of him though. Our department head told him we'd keep him up to date on all the research we're conducting and so on." "Soooooo, this is your research, then?" I gazed down at the stack in my arms.

"A summary of the book I've been writing for the past three years, yes. I was supposed to have it downstairs for the office courier this morning, but something came up and I got in late. I'd bring it myself, but I have a meeting with the board of directors which I can't miss. Would you possibly bring it for me? His office building is downtown- just a half an hour walk from here or so." "Oh… oh! Of course I will! Yeah, I can bring this." Oh, you should have seen the look of relief on his face.

"Thank you! Thank you so much. Here's the address," my supervisor then handed me one of Christian Grey's business cards. I scanned it once over; I didn't recognize the location. No big deal- I'll just put it into Google Maps. We said goodbye and Dr. Grinds rushed to get ready for his meeting. Address in hand, I typed it into my phone and set of for Grey Enterprises.


	8. This Lifetime's First Adult Meeting

Finding Mr. Grey's building wasn't as easy as I'd imagined. This has happened a billion times before and I have this knack of getting lost. Course, I also somehow have a way of getting to wherever I was going. Which is exactly what ensued when trying to locate Grey Enterprises. It was this small, four-story, unassuming building quite a way from the Dam Square. Why he chose such a remote, hard-to-find location, I don't know. But I didn't give it much thought as I entered through the clear glass front doors.

The lobby was sterile, like it had just been remodelled. Not that I blame them; the structure itself was probably over a hundred years old. Lots of places were like this on the inside here in Amsterdam. I went up to the main desk- which was the only desk- where sat a pretty, blonde lady; she was maybe around my age. She looked up to me and I grinned, fumbling to zip open my SuperDry backpack and take the folder out. I also managed to speak before she could get a word out.

"Uh, hi. My supervisor- er, Dr. Peter Grinds- sent this for Mr. Grey," yeah, I sounded as awkward it seemed. Her eyes drifted from me to the folder now resting on top of the desk. "Are you from the university?" "Yes. My department sent a courier this morning; this was supposed to be with it but…. uh, I brought it." What am I saying? I sound like I don't know what I'm talking about. Does the business world really intimidate you that much, Anastasia? "I see," she grabbed the folder and placed it beside her. Then she gave me one of those smiles- the kind that say "ok, you can leave now". Message received.

"Ok! Good. Thank you," I was about to head for the door. "You said this was from "Dr. Grinds"?" My head checked back to see her scribbling down something on a sticky note. "Um, yes; yes. Dr. Peter Grinds." "Kay, thanks," she finished and stuck it to the top of the folder. Now for real I was about to leave until….

"What are you doing here?!" Both me and the secretary looked dumbfounded to the side where the elevator was. There stood a tall, thin man in a grey suit; he was staring straight at me. His hands were out at his sides and his eyes were huge- like a deer caught in head lights. He seemed genuinely surprised…. for some reason. "Oh, Mr. Grey," the secretary got out of her chair. Mr. Grey? He's Mr. Grey? Huh, I thought he'd be…. older. And uglier. Not young and hot…. Really hot. Wait a minute….

The longer I studied him, the more it started to register in my brain. Him! It's him; the guy from across the canal. The man that was ogling at me so raptly. The very notion made me shift my feet a bit uncomfortably. No; no, I was probably wrong then. Why would a CEO of a big company make googly eyes at me? He was most likely looking at someone or something right behind me- not at me. I don't want to get the wrong idea here; not about him. No, he couldn't have been. After all, that doesn't make any logical sense. But then, neither does this really.

Christian- I guess I can call him that since we're around the same age- merely observed me for a long, tense minute before daring to take a step forward. The secretary's gaze shifted from him to me in a perplexed fashion. "She's from the university; she was delivering a file for Dr. Grinds," she went on to explain.

Christian took some steps towards me again, acting like he didn't hear her at all. All I could do was stand there and wordlessly watch, confused to all hell what was happening. Why… why was he looking at me that way? Like… almost like he's at war with himself about something. His lips eventually parted, as it seemed he reminded himself to breathe. Then he straightened his back up a bit and cleared his throat.

"You're from the university?" That was the first direct thing Christian had ever said to me. I nodded, not really sure what to say. It's not every day a lowly PhD candidate gets to talk with a CEO; probably for the best cause this was awkward as hell. "And you brought your supervisor's research?" Once again, I nodded like a tongue-tied idiot. It helped literally nothing that he was so goddamn hot- stunning really.

His eyes lowered a bit- I'm not sure why. I still wasn't really sure what was happening right now. Me and the other lady in the room then watched as he proceeded to pick up the folder. Christian flipped through it- very quickly I might add- and shut it. He peered up at me again, still holding it in his hands.

"It's not enough." "Huh?" What does he mean "not enough"? That's a summary of Dr. Grinds's whole book thus far. What else could he possibly want? To my utter astonishment, he handed the folder back to me. "I believe I was promised the research conducted by the whole department." "I uh…. uh…." "I don't see any of your research in here." "Mine? Oh; oh! I see! I'm sorry, sir. I'm new to the department; I just started my PhD. So I don't have any independent or substantial research done yet. Sorry for the confusion," I hesitated to take back the file. But the expression Christian wore stayed adamant and his hand still held it out.

"You wrote a research proposal when you applied for PhD, didn't you?" "W-well, yes; but that's just a proposal. I only did preliminary research for that." "It still has a thesis and some research in it. I want…." You can't imagine how wide the secretary and my eyes grew at this abrupt break in his sentence. For a minute, Christian's eyes scrolled downward into space as his mouth stayed opened. Again, it was… well, to be completely honest, it was like he was at war with himself again. His mouth wanted to say one thing, but his brain made him stop. He wanted two competing and conflicting things right then; not that I have any clue what they might be. Why was he struggling so much with this request? What could make him not want to ask me. Even his secretary looked concerned.

"Mr. Grey?" She finally broke the silence in the room. Christian blinked up back to me in response, his mouth still open and fighting with itself to continue speaking. After another second, he fixed his posture up again and shut his mouth. I caught his eyes fixating on mine again, so deep and engulfing.

"Bring a copy along with the folder to my office tomorrow. Let me know when she's here, Miss Gena," he instructed the secretary. "Yes, sir," she nodded. Then Christian gave me one last stare; his lips curled into a smile for the first time since I saw him right then. "Tomorrow, Miss Steele." That was the last thing he said to me before he headed back to the elevators with his hands clasped behind his back. I couldn't help but notice that he snuck one last glimpse of me before boarding the lift. Meanwhile, I stood there gobsmacked with my hand resting on my chest.

Wha-…. What was that?! What just happened? Did I bump my head and am currently dreaming? These kinds of things… well, they just don't happen in real life. I mean, a really hot CEO was tripping all over himself in front of me. Me! A nobody! No man- or woman for that matter- has ever acted like that around me before. I have so, so many questions. Why did he stop talking that one time? Why does he want to read my research proposal of all things? Why did he merely flip through Dr. Grinds work like that? Why…. This is when my cheeks started to sizzle a little.

Why did he keep looking at me that way?

"Erm, bye!" Having enough of this, I rushed out of there as fast as my feet could carry me. The secretary watched me with confusion, but I didn't stop. My feet only halted momentarily once I was outside, standing in front of the building out on the street. After a few deep breathes, I slowly gazed back at the edifice. The flicker of a curtain on the fourth floor caught my eye; it seemed like someone just hastily closed it. Man, what is going on around here?! Why was Christian acting so weird around me? Why is this building in a weird, hidden location? Just why? Why? The worst part is that none of these questions will be answered; I'll never know what's going on. And that's when it hit me. "Hey, wait…." I thought out loud to myself.

"How did he know what my last name was?"


	9. Eighteen Red Roses

Weird. Just weirdness. My whole life has been one mystery after another. Granted, it wasn't a bad mystery; not by any means. But unexplainable things happened, nonetheless. I contemplated this while on the bus and train into Amsterdam city centre. Dr. Grinds was more than a little surprised when I told him what Christian told me. He couldn't fathom why a CEO would my puny, insignificant research proposal. But his exact words quote: "We're not going to say no to one of our biggest donors. You bring him that proposal tomorrow". So here I am, on my way to Christian's office building again.

While on the tube, I gazed out the window at the passing surroundings. My chin rested on the palm of my hand. Christian acted really odd around me yesterday. I wonder why… Then again, I'm used to weirdness like this. It's just one random thing after another for me. My eyes lowered a tad. Why should that change any time soon? That's when my mind drifted off; back to distant, fuzzy memories of the past. Memories hidden deep, deep inside of me.

Twelve Years Ago-

_For my eighteenth birthday, Daddy got me and Kate a hotel room in Victoria- a city on an island across from Vancouver. I wanted Jose to come along too, but Daddy insisted this be a "girls" trip. Kate and I did everything that a normal eighteen-year-old wouldn't do. First up was visiting both castles on the island; next the famous wax museum; visiting the seals; and finally, to end off the day a haunted tour. Instead of cake, we went out for waffles. One of my best birthdays indeed. _

_Nothing really weird occurred during all that. The weirdness began when we were back at the hotel. We had just finished up swimming in the hotel's pool, complete with waterslide. Kate and I had joining rooms; we kept the door connecting them unlocked and open for the most part. At around nine o'clock Kate went for a shower in her own room and I started the water for a bath. _

_I recall I was about to get undressed when I heard footsteps come down the hall. Thinking it was another guest or staff member, I ignored it. Or at least I did until they literally stopped outside my room; I could see their shadow from the bottom of the door. Nothing happened for a second and I more than a little confused what to do. Confused, and a little afraid. Then, out of nowhere, I heard something being gently placed on the ground, blocking my view of their feet from behind the door. It sounded soft and light, whatever they set down. _

_Still puzzled what to do, I merely stood there waiting for them to leave. But, to my mild horror, they didn't- at least right away. It's the oddest thing. I don't know how I knew, but I know they placed- or pressed- a hand onto the wood of my door from their side. I could hear it slide down slowly; almost tenderly, if that makes sense. It sure didn't to me right then. Whoever it was, they were caressing my door…. for some reason. _

_Seconds later the echo of footsteps could be heard again. I waited for a minute or two before pulling back on my shirt all the way and hesitantly going over to open the door. I listened for any sound just in case, and when none were heard, I finally unlocked it and cautiously pushed it open a smidge. _

_No one- the hall was devoid of any people. After checking down both sides, my head turned downwards to see a wrapped bouquet of flowers resting on the floor. Curious, I plucked it up and pulled open the flap to uncover eighteen long-stem, red roses. Wow! My eyes widened in pure astonishment. They're beautiful! And there was a card too. It was a simple card which read: Happy Eighteen Birthday, darling girl. I am incredibly thankful you have lived long enough to reach womanhood. Forever your devoted servant, A. _

"_A? Who's A?" Kate examined the card while we sat on my bed with the bouquet of roses still wrapped up and in my arms. I considered her query for a moment. "Anonymous….." I whispered more to myself than anything. "Who?" She turned to me. "Erm, I don't know. I have no clue who could have left them." "Hmmmmm, you think your dad had the staff deliver them up here?" "That's a pretty ominous message for a father to write their child, don't you think?" My eyebrow raised up. _

_Kate watched me for a second, her eyes graduating drifting back to the card in her hand. "Well, whoever wrote this has very pretty handwriting. I'd never met anyone who writes like that." "Me either," I agreed. "You have no idea who sent this?" "No. I guess I could call Daddy to confirm; maybe he had someone else write the note. But… but why wouldn't he use his name if that's the case?" "Don't know; sure is a mystery," my best friend set the card down on the bed. _

A mystery she said. She has no idea.


	10. Internal Confliction

I was not expecting Christian's secretary- the same, blonde one- to actually bring me up to his office on the fourth floor. What's more, I wasn't expecting her to open the door and for Christian to actually call me inside. Oooooooook, I slowly made my way across the threshold while holding the folder in my shy hands.

Ok, so I'm a tad- or ton- shy around him. Wouldn't you be around this rich, hot, successful businessman? Especially when he looks at you so…. Christian took the file from me, sifted through it, then smiled at me. "Thank you, Miss Steele." "Uh, your welcome!" I instinctively straightened up with my hands clasped in front of me like a little girl. This is ridiculous; why am I acting so timid and unsure? I'm a grown woman and a PhD candidate for crying out loud. I merely watched as he set the folder down on his desk and gazed back to me. His eyes…. His deep, endless, absorbing eyes just now.

"Are you heading back to the university now?" "Um that's what I planned on, yes." "I see…." The corners of his eyes softened as they wandered off a bit in a thoughtful manner. I don't know what possessed me to say but I felt the sudden need to say something; the silence was too unbearable for some unfathomable reason. Maybe it's because it felt like he wanted to say more but stopped himself right before his lips parted.

"S-so, you're moving to Seattle?" I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. Christian didn't respond right away, instead electing to stare at me for a minute first. I can't be sure but his eyes had this tint of pain to them now- twinge of suffering….. "Yes, next week." "That's soon! Well, I hope your move goes well," I grinned, trying to be polite. When he failed to reply, I took it as my que to make my leave. I flashed him one last sweet smile. "It was nice meeting you," my feet turned to the direction of the door.

His eyes immediately grew huge as any trace of a grin vanished from his face. I heard him approach me before I saw him. My head glanced over my shoulder behind me, and within a matter of seconds Christian was at my side. W-whoa! He's standing so close to me- I couldn't help but blush. He opened the door for me without a word, but while I was about to exit, I felt something grab my forearm.

I immediately looked to see Christian there, his hand holding onto my arm. It was so sudden and unanticipated, even for him it seemed. The way his hand held me…. His fingers wrapped tightly against my sleeve, but it didn't hurt. It's as if his body acted on its own accord… like it wanted to stop me from leaving. Our eyes met once more and while I was expecting an explanation, he instead wordlessly, breathlessly stared at me. It was in his eyes; something in his eyes…. it gave him away.

At once I grasped that he was at war with himself again. Just like the first time we met, Christian was a concoction of contradictions. I don't know why he seized my arm like that, or why his lips hung open like he wanted to say something but repeatedly stopped himself at the last second. I don't know why he kept looking at me that way…. that intimate, enveloping, desperate way. I just had so, so many questions in that instance.

"C-Christian?" Like it was pained labour, Christian finally retracted his hand after a long moment. As if realizing what he'd just done, his eyes widened in horror- though I'm not sure what he was horrified about. Then, without another word or glance to me, I felt myself being practically shoved out the door. It closed with a slam, leaving me there utterly speechless out in the small hallway. Seriously…. I blinked several times, trying to make some sense of what happened. But I couldn't, no matter how much I thought about it.

Seriously, what just happened now?


	11. Coincidences

Maybe I'm really stupid or something. Maybe I'm not smart, despite being in PhD. Ah, who am I kidding? I'll be the first to admit that I'm always confused. Literally always.

I strolled around the park outside the Rijksmuseum with my hands buried in my pockets. What happened with Christian at his office like an hour ago, I still cannot explain. He grabbed onto my arm like he wanted to keep me there inside the room with him. But why? That's the rub of it all. I know what he did but there's no "why" to follow it up.

Why would a man- any man- grab a woman's arm like that? A woman he doesn't know? Is this cause for concern? Should I be alarmed? Like seriously consider it for a moment. How would you feel? You go into this billionaire's office where you're alone with him, and he momentarily stops you from leaving by snatching your forearm. Ok, saying it like that makes it sound really creepy, but you get the idea. What could have been his motive? Did he want to kidnap me? Yell at me? Ask me out? None of those explanations make any sense! He obviously didn't want to ask me out on a date. He's Christian Grey- he can have any woman he wants in the world. I may not be a genius but I'm smart enough to know that someone like him would never, ever go out with a woman like me. I'm a nobody; he's a CEO. That just doesn't happen in real life.

Ok, so he doesn't want to date me. Why else could he have grabbed my arm like that? Well, he may have wanted to abduct me. That ironically makes more sense than him wanting to ask me on a date. In retrospect, I am the perfect target for kidnapping. No one knows me; not many people would care if I disappeared- save Daddy, Kate, Jose, and the university. Plus he is leaving the country soon, and he would be more apt to get away with it considering how much money he has. It's possible…. But that theory has holes too. If he was going to abduct anyone, why a thirty-year-old like myself? There are younger, prettier girls in the city. On top of which, why would he want to take me in the first place? Sex slave? Mmmmm, probably not; he can pay an escort for that. Ransom? Daddy isn't rich. And boom- bang goes that theory.

So I've knocked off dating and kidnapping. What else is there? Did he want me to pass on a message to Dr. Grinds? If so, why didn't he just have his secretary call the department? Perhaps he wanted to wish me luck on my PhD. Could be, but again, he doesn't know me personally so why would he bother? Nugh! All this thinking was getting me nowhere.

I plopped myself on a bench underneath a green canopy beside the castle. With a sigh, my elbows rested on my legs and I stared downwards. Why can't I figure this out? What am I overlooking? I've been in school for five years already and I somehow have no clue what's going on. That's when it hit me like a lightning bolt. That's it! This isn't the time for theorising; I should do what I've been trained to do. That's right- it's time to research!

I pulled out my iPhone in its cute, pink cover from my backpack and typed Christian Grey's name up in Google. Lots of sites and photos appeared, and I found his Linkin profile. Nothing really stood out at first; just a bunch of names, titles, and descriptions I didn't understand. I took my time, scrolling through that and several other pages for any clues. Apparently he wasn't married- has never been in a serious, or any, relationship by the looks of it. Huh, I wonder if he's gay and trying to hide it? Anyway! Let's see, what else? Started up Grey Enterprises in 2013, is twenty-eight years old, birthplace… huh, none of the sites had any details of his birthplace or childhood. From the looks of everything- including his pictures- he started a footprint online when he was twenty-eight….. That's… weird. Why so late in life? Didn't he ever use Facebook or any social media? A quick check confirmed that he didn't. All the pictures were of him at the exact same age. Seriously, it doesn't even say where he went to high school or university. How can he have zero presence on the internet like that? And more importantly, why?

"Maybe he's just a really private person," I exclaimed as I realized how stockerish this all was. That's fine if he is; he's entitled to his privacy. I took one last glance at his Linkin profile before abandoning the search. Nothing weird or alarming popped out at me; he's just some normal- albeit rich and successful- dude with no social media accounts. That seemed like the end of it for me until… As I scrolled through the page, I began to notice something.

"Relocated to Vancouver, 2016. Relocated to Edinburgh, 2017. Relocated to Amsterdam, 2018…." Christian moves his business around a lot. Now, that wouldn't seem strange on the surface except…. It's just weird, I sat back on the bench while staring at my phone screen. Now I'm sure I'm just reading too much into this and trying to find connections where there are none. But… It's just…. Christian's business moves match each of my big moves. I moved to Durham in 2016 and back to Vancouver in 2017. I got my MSc in Edinburgh in 2018, and now I'm in Amsterdam…

How bizarre is that? My eyes naturally drifted upwards. He's initially been each city I've moved to, and he's moved out of that city the same year. Man, talk about an eerie coincidence. How likely is that to happen? I had to give the side of my head a smack. "Snap out of it, Anastasia! It's a coincidence- that's it. Stop reading too much into things," that's the downside to thinking as much as I do. I know in reality his relocations have nothing to do with me; that would make no logical sense. Of course they have nothing to do with me; we don't even know each other. I mean….

It's not like he's actively trying to avoid me or something.


	12. Irony

I have always been more inclined towards Hume's theory of miracles and the paranormal. Essentially- though explained very, very briefly- miracles are violations of the Natural Laws. Something can only be considered a miracle if all other explanations following the Natural Laws are disproven. So basically, an occurrence is classified as a "miracle" if any other explanation involving the Natural Laws is more illogical than its alternative. I take this theory to account for everything else in life. In other words, if two options present themselves for the source of a cause, I will always go with the more likely, and therefore logical, of the two. My option will only change in the face of substantial conflicting evidence, which then makes that claim the more logical of the two.

Now, some might say that this mentality makes me too set with certain beliefs, such as that ghosts do not exist or so on. It's true- I do not believe in ghosts. There is not enough tangible and thereby measurable evidence outside of testimony for me to believe. That being said, I would flip this belief on its head if I was provided with appropriate evidence. And no, this isn't like those theorists who deny the moon landing; where you can present them with all the evidence in the world and they will think of some way to discredit it. That's not my style. No, I treat all evidence- weather it helps to prove or disprove my beliefs- equally. Or I like to think I do. Evidence is evidence, regardless of what I want it to validate.

Why am I telling you all this? So that you understand my train of thought when it comes to Christian Grey's actions. Yes, I was still mulling over it on my way to a local café downtown. I wanted to be as realistic and logical as I possibly could. My desires and suspicions were irrelevant in deciphering the clues here. Each theory I put forward I found holes and shortcomings with. That left me with the conclusion, for now at least, that I simply did not know Christian's motives. Fine, ok; I guess I'll have to accept that. He has his reasons; he had to grab my arm for some purpose in mind. And my overthinking and analysing it hasn't helped matters. It's not like I need to know anyway; not like I'll ever see him again. He's moving soon halfway across the world- why should I concern myself with him?

That thought made me bite my bottom lip moments before my phone started to ring. "Hello," I didn't hesitate to answer. _"Hey, girl! What's up?"_ Kate's voice chirped on the other end. "N-nothing much. Just…. just thinking. You?" _"Walking home from class. Just wanted to say hi; see how your first few days are going."_ "Uh, they're good. Everything's going good on campus, and I really like my supervisor." _"Oh, nice! And what are you doing now? At the university?"_ "Er, n-no. Just walking downtown; wanted to stop in at a café before I headed back." _"Cool, cool. Well, don't stop there; what did you do today?"_ "I uh…. uh… just brought a file to… um someone. Nothing really interesting." _"I hear that; I worked in the library all today. Almost fell to sleep like five times."_ "How's your thesis going?" There was a slight pause.

"_Um, it's ok. To be honest, I've been struggling with it for some time now."_ "Yeah, I remember you saying that," my eyes lowered. Poor Kate. _"It's no big deal; I'm working on it with my supervisor."_ "You're a very good writer, Kate. It will get done before the deadline." Another pause. _"Thanks, babe."_ "No problem. Call me if you ever need to talk, kay?" _"I will. How about you? You doin' ok over there?"_ "I… Yeah, I'm fine- no big issues." _"Good! And on that note, know if you can come to Paris yet?" _"I don't know yet; I'll let you know as soon as I do." _"Ok. Well, I'm almost home; I'll text you later, ok?"_ My lips parted a little as I drew in a soft breath. "Kate…..?" _"Yeah?"_ And my mouth shut for a minute. "Erm, never mind." _"Alrighty then. Talk to you later, Anny." _"Have a good night. Thanks for the call." _"Anytime! Bye."_ "Bye." Click!

I glanced at my phone screen still with low eyes. No, I did the right thing. What's the point in bringing all this up with Kate? This is a simple case of overthinking everything; there really is no problem. I rationally know there isn't- that's the logical deduction. With another sigh, I put my phone away in my pocket and turned onto the street with the café I wanted to visit. A good, stiff cup of hot chocolate is just what I need- that'll be the ticket. Things will look different after some time; I just need to be patient. That's all…. I'll forget everything that's happened and get back to my normal life.

Like the universe thinks it's funny to be completely ironic to me, that's when I opened the café front door and you'll never guess who I saw inside.


End file.
